AHH!! WHAT am I THINKING!?!!

I loate my job..more than I used too. I am bored and unmotivated..when I leave I am bored and unmotivated. I have a phone interview today..and I am scared crapless. It's only a part-time position. I would be quitting my full-time job at which I have been three years to go work for a bank. I have no experience only hope that if I work my tail off I will shortly be moved to a full-time position. I don't even know how much money I will be making or even how many hours I will be getting. This sounds like the dumbest idea EVER but I need to get out of here. I am just hoping and praying that everything works out. That some way some how I will be okay and I will make enough money to pay my bills. I suppose it's better now than later. It's just me to take care of no kids or anything and if need be I will just find a roommate and hope for cheaper rent. It WILL work out I just gotta have faith. In what you may ask? I haven't the slightest cause I didn't ask God what He thought and we all know that having faith in ourselves is futile.

Ugh..wishing I was a Man!

Things of Note:

*My cold sore isn't going away.
*I have more girl problems than the whole world put together.
*I have no health insurance!
*It's HOT!
*My sandles look cute with my skirt but I already have a blister and the day isn't even half done.

Facial Issues

My face is irritated. My cold sore feels as if it's getting bigger by the second..my mouth isn't closing properly. I think I am drooling. My nose feels crusty and dry, arm pits are sweaty. How I pray for quick death right now!

Yes, I am being melodramatic...first days back are always hard...seriously praying for a tomorrow. This day is not how I would choose for my life to end. :D

Back At It

I had a super great time visting my BFF over the weekend. I had little appreciation for the cooler weather while I was there. I had been hoping for high temps and lots of sunshine. But that was not to be. It was sunny and the wind blew a cold chill over the town. Now back home I wish I was there. It's HOT here. I have spent more time in the sun this summer than the last five years combined. Now I am getting my FIRST EVER cold sore to show it. It is unsightly and hurts. I feel like I have a big booger or something on my lip.

Missing three days of work has resulted in a huge pile of crap to do. I am so ready to go home.

Things of Note:

*My unsightly cold sore

*The giganto spider I killed in my bedroom last night which is still on the floor. Vacuum?

*Piles of work on my desk.

*Blazing hot temp of 95 degrees today.

*The pool calling my name..even though I know tonight I should be doing yardwork to prepare for the upcoming bbq.

*I have at least 6 loads of laundry that need to be completed asap! (Do I even have laundry detergent?)

*Grocery shopping needs to be a priority.

*There isn't enough time in the day!

Sudden Death

Due to a recent occurrence that had nothing directly to do with me, I think that I should write a last will and testament/slash letter to my family in case I up and die. I am only 23 but it could happen. Brings a whole new meaning to "Here Today, Gone Tomorrow." Would that be presumptuous? Possibly but what if? Will they know how much I loved them? Is my life a testament to my beliefs? How do you all feel about death? Would you write one even if you weren't expecting to die anytime soon?

And no, I'm not suicidal.

I can't say my day off was a complete waste. I didn't get much accomplished but it was relaxing and I got to spend some quality time with the bf. However I can only take so much. I love having him around but cherish the silence when he leaves. On the flipside then I feel very alone and kind of bored. I really need to broaden my friend horizon. Apparently having guy friends is out of the question. I know, given my history, that having guy friends would appear in a negative light. But it's not always like that. In this particular case my intentions were purely innocent. Nobody can read my mind and everything comes off wrong and I feel as though I am being judged. It totally sucks. Then I have to deal with having a guilty conscience even though I didn't even do anything. I can see on the other side how I might feel if he wanted to hang out with a girl..checks and balances. Bummer dude.
One more day and then it's vaca time. We leave tonight and I am totally stoked. Hopefully I don't kill him over the weekend. He has seemed super hystrung and hyper lately. Like he's on something haaha. I know he isn't but seriously just be quiet. "I love you but if you talk about work one more time I swear I am going to duct tape your mouth shut. I need some peace!" It would be great if he could talk in calming tones without this know-it-all righteous attitude. That used to be something I liked about him. He knows pretty much a little about lots of stuff. I should be proud that he's so well rounded in knowledge but now I am thinking it's not so great. Calm down!! It doesn't matter, no one is arguing with you.. JUST PLEASE SHUT UP! Arg! I need to take a breather. I have eight hours of day left and just need to let it go...Why am I even letting it bother me? I can tune stuff out with the best of them. Selective hearing, anyone? Yeah that's what I thought. Good luck to me!
Have a great and safe 4th! Remember the troops who fight for our freedom!

Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

When I was employed at my former position as a receptionist I worked Monday through Friday and had weekends off. I currently work finance at a bike dealership and have split days off. More often than not I dislike having split days off. This is primarily due to the fact that I can't have a life outside of work and not enough time to plan trips or actually do the "1st day off- bust ass & 2nd day off- RELAX" routine. I have to bust my buns everyday off because they aren't consecutive. This week has been a little different due to scheduling conflicts with the boss man. I am currently on my fourth working day (I know Cry Me a River, right?). I'm done! I've had it! I am so ready for this to be over. As of right now I am sitting at my desk typing this. I have no motivation to complete anything whatsoever. I have woken up late the last two days. Thank goodness I have tomorrow off because I might have had to call in claiming work suicide or something equally dramatic. So tomorrow off, work Saturday and then an extra long weekend.
YAY FOR VACA TIME!
Can't wait for 4th of July. My love and I are traveling down to Eastern Oregon for some very long overdue vaca/gf time. My best friend and I try to see each other once a month. I love her! Looking forward to cocktails, bbq, and fun in the sun! Three days of nothing to do but be a river bum! I am ecstatic!
Now if only this day could be over..I hear a cold beer calling my name...:)